Iphigenia's Scar - A Poem About The Fall of The House of Atreus, And My Father

Yours is not a single farewell

Given ceremoniously at some famed port

No -

Yours is a series of departures

Fresh, raw, unprecedented

Bruising each tender day

With a stamp of rejection. 

I am wading in a sea of memories

Haunted by every empty horizon

And the wail of the Sirens is deafening now -

Repeating over, and over, and over

It never was

It never was

It never was. 

For Agamemnon the journey was worth the sacrifice

So he looked only ahead

Giving no acknowledgement to the victory that was already by his side

As she followed him up the mountain

Eyes shining, forever in love

Her father

Whole world centered on the careless hold of his hand

Which would soon let go

And come crashing down

Before she could utter the warning

That hollow winds would lead him

On a lifeless journey.

And now that you have sailed away

Home no longer exists

We are all lost at sea

Mere ghosts of our former selves

Interacting without meaning or consequence or thought

Slipping through days

Sinking into the night

Grasping for an occasional memory

That makes us real again, even for an instant

But even the memory is a betrayal. 

I think I died right before you killed me

The knowledge of your betrayal was enough

So that the actual departure became a poorly attended funeral

That was quickly forgotten

In the glory of your victory.

Your name is etched in permanent marker

On anonymous boxes scattered throughout the house

Like an incantation repeated endlessly

Acknowledging your simultaneous departure and presence

In the hollow cavern that was once our home.

Outside the ivy we planted

Peeps hopefully into empty windows

And bleeds back into the earth. 

I wish that those who say Iphigenia survived

Spoke true

That she broke free of her father’s shadow

And cursed the fateful hand before it cursed her.

Yet those who speak of her survival

Do so with downcast eyes

And faraway glances

At a sea that holds many secrets

Of journeys spurred on only after immense sacrifice. 

I wish that those who say Iphigenia sailed away

Saw her launch her ship

On the eve of her father’s departure

Leaving him to miss her.

Yet those who speak of her escape

Can never quite recall the direction of her course

And avoid my endless questions

About a girl who forsake her father

Before he forsook her. 

Ours is not an immortal epic for the ages

A song that will be sung and remembered

And revered -

Ours is not a legend that will survive the decades

Or even the years.

Ours is a single, broken chord

Stained with bitterness and regret

Trampled

Broken

Forgotten.

And so it became a cursed love

One that would be damaged beyond repair 

And because it was a tale often told

It began to lose its meaning 

And since no one could ever take the place of her father

Men no longer existed 

And since she could neither forgive nor hate

The emptiness stretched onwards 

Like a gaping hole. 

                             

Clytamnestra waited

Waited and remembered

Remembered and plotted 

When the same winds that blew him from her

Blew him back again

She recalled the original departure with vivid clarity 

Agamemnon returned in all his glory

Battleships returned and docked at victorious ports

The heart of the world beating in his palm 

Fury of woman, anguish of mother

Clytamnestra’s bloody rage splattered on cold marble

Iphigenia avenged 

But my mother weeps quietly.

She fought him all the way up the mountain

Cursed his decision and screamed for her mother

Invoked the gods to bring down their wrath

And begged them simultaneously to bring peace to her house. 

In the last moments, though

When it was just father and daughter

Alone on the peak

She fought him no longer. 

There are no living witnesses

But there are those who say

That in their final moments

There was only tenderness.

The House of Atreus was built on Iphigenia’s love for Agamemnon

And if Helen’s face turned the proud Greeks eastward to Troy

Then Iphigenia surely cast the first victorious sail

For even though it is said that the wisest goddess loved Greece best

It was the mortal child who ultimately lay willing at the alter

Assuring her father eternally favorable winds.

I dreamed last night that you came back to us

The sea tenderly washing you onto our shores

And all the battles and years of abandonment

Became the dream

So that all that was real

Was how the story began and not

How it has unfolded. 

Awake, I search for our story

In distant myths and legends

Seeking answers

Always hoping that the stories will change

But they all end

How ours has now

The House of Atreus was glorious once, too. 

  

You Tell Me

My Favorite Moonlight Sonata

There's something about the moonlight that brings the unlikely together in a way that resonates so profoundly they're both left permanently altered.

July 12 Child Astrology Reading

The July 12 birth date comes under a considerable influence from the planet Mars, and this can result in a person who is likely to be one who has a great potential for leadership. There are however, certain confrontational aspects associated with Mars, and as result you would be wise to guard against your possible potential to show a lack of humility.


This birth date can be particularly influenced by the rhythms associated with the moon, and this can be expressed by variations in your moods. During your highs you can be highly expressive to those around you and will enthusiastically take part in the experiences of life. At other times, when feeling low, you are likely to withdraw away, and into yourself in order to seek quite and solitude.


Your periods of highs and lows are somewhat unpredictable, and you are quite capable of suddenly changing from one to the other to the confusion of those around you. People who are close to you however, will generally learn to just leave you with it when on one of your emotional lows, and to give you the time to reorganize yourself in your own time.


A characteristic associated with those born on the July 12 day is that of being able to sense, and to respond to potential in what might appear to be a game of chance. You have the ability to create, what to others, might seem to be the impossible. At your best, you have the ability to very quickly understand the ramifications existent in any set of circumstances. As result, you should seize upon the opportunities that you encounter.

You must seize the opportunities you identify and then act upon their potential. Some July 12 birthdays are located in relation to the fixed star of Castor, and in more ancient times it was believed that this influence related to the receipt of sudden honors, but followed by disgrace. Irrespective of any honors that arise in your life, you are one who has a serious and studios nature, with that ability to be able to share your abilities and talents in order to generate co-operative relationships among others.


The written word is important to you, and books in particular. High quality leather bound volumes are likely to be found in your bookcase cabinet. With your inherent interest in family and family history, books passed down through the family will be treasured possessions for you. Family mementos of all kinds are likely to be retained by the July 12 as emotional connections to your past. As a July 12, music can be an important factor in your life, and collections of music on tapes, vinyl records or modern discs will form a feature in your home. Dark blue and bright yellow are colors compatible with your July 12 birth date, and pearls, ruby and fire opal are gems that can help to inspire your sense of initiative. On the home front, the July 12 will appreciate a home design that infers an atmosphere of plenty of space. 

You are likely to favor curved shape designs over those of the straight or angular within your home. As example, curved effect at the meeting of the walls to ceilings and well-shaped furniture designs, over that of clean-cut square effect. To maintain some association with your ruling planet, the moon, you might like to consider keeping some form of representation of the moon within the home. As example, this might take the form of a calendar depicting photos of the moon, or some other attractive framed picture or image mounted on a wall in the house. 

On the outdoors front, most outdoor environments that involve some form of water setting will appeal to those of the July 12 birth date. As examples, beaches, lake lands, mountain streams or a park with a pond can provide of delight to you.


Your special magic numbers are 1 and 9. The twelfth day of the seventh month reduces to one, and the number one signifies that of beginnings, initiative, and originality. This number carries a singleness of purpose and a sense of unity.


Love Match: Cancer and Pisces are starry-eyed lovers, moved by the same mysterious moods and sensations. At the surface, these signs seem more sensitive and receptive than any other two signs. They are intuitive, at times perhaps even psychic, utterly aware of each other's feelings and wishes (and those of everybody else's, too). Naturally this is a blessing as well as a curse. It is safe to say that in the best of scenarios there is no romance more beautiful than that of Cancer and Pisces; giving, loving, highly compatible and completely merging together. But then again they may leech on each other, sucking all energy and emotion from the relationship and the partner. These two romantics could withdraw from the world into a messy, dysfunctional existence together, keeping nothing but a vague hope. What is needed is some airy or earthy influences that can ground the relationship in clear thought and some everyday reality. 


Cancer is more likely to be the practical of the two - on the other hand, also more defensive and touchy. Cancer's need for safety provides them with direction and drive, while Pisces can daydream till the bitter end. Later, when Cancer finds themselves in one of their sombre moods, the wise and patient Piscean make them whole again through understanding and inner strength. Once awakened, the love and tenderness for the partner seldom disappear completely with Cancer and Pisces.

For Vinny

Me

Is There A Silence

Search

The goal: to find a man in real life who is the answer.

WHO IS JOHN GALT?

Sonata

My Joker

Nocturne in Blue

And there it is again

The rising, falling

Ever building fountain
Lifetimes of avoidance 

Spilling 

At our feet.

You see it, too

Thinking you would leave
If you were me
You hate you, too
But it's too far gone now;
The wilderness
Beckons.

Raised voices

Incessant howls
Countless, relentless
Helpless

Numbness
Doors locked, doors opened

It won't end
Madness begets madness.

It’s not what you said

Or did

Or didn’t do

Or are

Or are not.

I choke on the same air
From which we once built castles

Forgiveness spreads like cancer.

Me, 2010

What a night for a dance, you know I'm a dancing machine
With a fire in my bones and the sweet taste of kerosene
I get lost in the night so high I don't want to come down
To face the loss of the good thing that I've found


In the dark of the night I could hear you calling my name
With the hardest of hearts I still feel full of pain
So I drink and I smoke and I ask you if you're ever around
Even though it was me who drove us right in the ground


See the time we shared it was precious to me
But all the while I was dreaming of revelry


Born to run, baby run like a stream down a mountainside
With the wind in my back I don't ever even bat an eye
Just know it was you all along who had a hold of my heart
But the demon and me were the best of friends from the start


So the time we shared it was precious to me
All the while I was dreaming of revelry
Dreaming of revelry


And I told myself boy away you go, it rained so hard it felt like snow
Everything came tumbling down on me
In the back of the woods in the dark of the night
Paleness of the old moonlight everything just felt so incomplete


I was there once, too. This also has been one of the dark places of the earth.

The Men Who Love You. . .

. . .she wears my love like a see-through dress.

Nobody

You said once 

I'm like the song

A piece of glass, left there on the beach

Will always have a gypsy heart

Prefer to search,

Not to find

The one I will love won't bleed

I am so sorry for your wound

You never had my heart.